All Souls Day - Remembering Our Passed Loved Ones

All Souls days is usually forgotten by many due to being right after Halloween, on November 2nd. All Souls Day is a feast commemorating all of those who have died and now are in Purgatory, being cleansed of their venial sins and the temporal punishments for the mortal sins that they had confessed and atoning before entering fully into Heaven.

So how do we teach this feast to our children? Death is not something a lot of people like to talk about, and some children just are not ready to understand the concept of death.

I decided to use the words "love" and "remember" a lot that day. We started our celebration the day before visiting a local museum that was hosting a Day of the Dead exhibit. It was a great way for the kids to learn more about their own culture as well. We belong to the museum so it was free to see.

The night before we made heart cookies for our loved ones. I got pre-made rolled dough on clearance from Walmart from the Halloween section of cookies for only $1. Each pack came with 2 sheets of rolled dough so it was simple and almost mess free! All we needed was a cookie cutter. The kids had a lot of fun making them. You can use candy to decorate and even use edible markers to write names if you would like for older children.

The morning of All Souls Day we set up a display on our home altar with pictures of our passed loved ones an dsaid a few prayers including the Prayer of St. Gertrude 

Eternal Father, I offer Thee the Most Precious Blood of Thy Divine Son, Jesus, in union with the masses said throughout the world today, for all the holy souls in purgatory, for sinners everywhere, for sinners in the universal church, those in my own home and within my family. Amen.

We left that morning and picked up some flowers and visited our local passed loved ones. The kids enjoyed putting flowers on their statues. 

Take this day just to celebrate your memories with your passed loved ones and tell stories to your children about them. It is a great day of celebration and praying to help them make their way to the Lord. 

For Father's In Heaven On Father's Day

     My father was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma when I was around 8. I don’t remember much of it. I do remember however that my mom and dad were both away a lot and my grandparents would come and stay with my brothers and I while they were gone. My dad had beat the cancer and we were able to go on with our lives as normal. As a 8 year old I guess I really never knew how serious it was but I remember how it changed my dad afterwards.

     He became a better father and a better husband to my mother. He started getting active in church once again and we started going on a regular basis. My father also became a extraordinary minister. He started getting active with my brother in I in school and sports. He was my soccer and basketball couch for many season,and he was a leader in my brother’s boy scout pack. We started taking more trips together as a family and just spending more quality time with each other. My favorite was the times driving with him in his Oldsmobile with the windows down listening to the oldies. We were happy.

     About 7 years later the cancer came back and it was worse. It had started to spread. Please forgive me I don’t know a lot of the terms for the procedures that he went through because I was only 15 at the time and I don’t remember much. He underwent a procedure that was supposed to be the answer to beating it again and according to my family it  was a success.

     After the success of the procedure I was scheduled to go on a trip with my high school to Europe. I was going to be gone about 12 days. I went to the hospital and said bye to my dad and he told me to have fun and stay out of trouble. My mother dropped me off at the bus stop with my school so we could head to the airport. She told me not to worry  and dad would be home by the time I came home in a few weeks. I left happily on my trip.

     Now this was 15 years ago before phone cards and cell phones that called long distance, so I had no communication from my family while I was over there. If there was an emergency they could have called one of our hotels just in case. I received no calls or news. I expected to see my dad either in the car to pick me up or at home when I got there.

     We got in late and I remember the sun was down when we got to the bus stop for our parents to pick us up. I remember seeing my mom and how tired she looked but with a smile on her face. She gave me a hug and I said by to all my fellow travelers. When I got into the car I noticed that there was a bunch of my dads stuff in the car and I asked excitedly if Dad was home. My mom looked at me with a single tear streaming down her face and she shook her head no. I asked what was wrong and she told me that my father was not doing well and that she needed to take me to the hospital right away.

     I rode quietly to the hospital listening to my mother explain that the procedure went well but one of the medicines that they gave my dad hurt him and started destroying his lungs and he was having a hard time breathing and his lungs would not recover. She explained that they were going to send for me while I was in Europe but my dad told them no and to let me enjoy myself. My dad went in and out of a coma after and they were keeping him on life support until the family was together and I could be there.

     I got to the hospital and I remember walking into the room, lights low and the rosary on CD being played in the background,  and I said “Hi Dad”.  He opened his eyes for the first time in the past few days and smiled. Everyone was surprised. I told him that I had a really good time on my trip and that I had got in trouble a few times joking with him. I don’t even remember if I told him I loved him during that brief moment,  it was all a blur. He closed his eyes again. I sat in chair on the left side of his bed and held his hand. I laid my head down and listening to the rosary as I silently cried myself to sleep.

     The next thing I remember was my mother waking me up with tears in her eyes telling me he was gone. My family and hospital staff told my mom that they were surprised that he was able to hang on that long and he should have passed days ago but he was waiting for me to get home and see him.
     My mother and I drove home. It was early in the morning and we were going to tell my younger brother that our father had just passed away. My mother thought he was too young to be at the hospital at that time. I remember sitting on his bed all huddled together crying. People called and came over all day bringing condolences and food. Too much for me, I didn't want to talk to anyone.

      I sat on our deck in shock still from what had happened when all of a sudden this blue butterfly flew in front of me and landed on my shoulder. It just sat there flapping it wings up and down slowly like it was in no hurry to leave. I have no idea how much time passed but I remember the sense of calm I experienced when it was resting on me. My mother saw it and came out and even got a few pictures. (which she has in a box somewhere!)  I told her I think this butterfly was sent from dad telling us he was with God and is okay. The butterfly stayed with us flying around and landing on me a few more times until after about 20 minutes it left.
   
     Every time that butterfly flapped its wings it was my dad telling me he loved me and he was in Heaven. He knew we needed it to help us get through those next couple days. I actually wrote a poem after it happened: 

The Butterfly

                                                               My dad died today

                                                                      and I cried

                                                                      And cried

                                                    But in flew a mysterious butterfly

                                            It landed on my foot, and flapped its wings

                                             It landed on my leg, and flapped its wings

                                           It landed on my hand, and flapped its wings

                                        It landed on my shoulder, and flapped its wings

                                                                    I felt my dad

                                                                As if he was there

                                                        Everywhere, all around me

                                                                He is the butterfly

                                                          That comes and visits me

                                                              He loved us so much

                                                                     And I knew

                                              Because every time he flapped his wings

                                                       He was saying, “I love you.”

By: Jenny DeLeo

       07/28/99

     Even though I only had my father for 16 years I am still blessed to have those years and I miss him everyday. It was hard when he was not there to walk me down the aisle at my wedding or to be there for the birth of my children, but who knows he just might have been and I know he watches over me and my children to this day. Whenever my  children and I  see a butterfly I tell them, “Look there’s grandpa telling us he loves us from Heaven” Happy Father’s Day Dad. I love you.

Prayer for Deceased Father

O God, Who commanded us to honor our father and our
mother, in Your mercy have pity on the soul of my father, and
and forgive him his sins.

May I see him again in the joy of everlasting brightness. Through Christ our Lord.
Amen.

How my life was saved before I was even born: A Pro-Life Story

     

     My mother was told that she could not conceive a child after she had my older brother. My parents had wanted more children and were devastated, but decided they would not give up and were going to pursue adoption. My parents let their families know that they were going to start looking into adoption and get the process started. My fathers family told the news to our extended family in Chicago. It was discovered that one of my fathers cousins was a lawyer who was just confronted by my biological mother and family. She was expressing a strong interest in starting the adoption process and thought a lawyer would help advise them on the next step to take. My biological mother was only 17 when she found out that she was pregnant with me. Her father had left and remarried and left her mother and 3 kids alone and my biological father turned his back on her when she told him she was pregnant. They were struggling and knew that they could not care for me and abortion was not something that my biological mother wanted.

      The cousin informed my family at once and stated it was meant to be. The same day he heard the news of my parents wanting to adopt was the day my biological family called for him to start the process to put me up for adoption. All the paperwork was done quick and quiet enough that I was able to go home with my parents after I was born.

This picture shows my family the day they brought me home from the hospital.

In this photo my mother is feeding me for the first time.

I was baptized a few days later. My godparents actually ended up being my fathers cousin, the lawyer who completed my adoption and his wife. Without them I would have never ended up with my family. Here is a picture of me being baptized.

I was blessed with very wonderful parents and also 2 brothers. Yes 2! My mother ended up becoming pregnant about 5 years after I was born. It was a miracle and she had no serious problems during the pregnancy.

     I did also find and meet my birth mother and her family in 2009 due to a website that helps you find children and birth parents from adoptions. I think it takes a lot of strength and love for my birth mother to make a decision like she did. I could never even imagine how it would have felt to have to give up my children after carrying them for 8 months.

     My life was saved because my biological mother believed my life was worth it. She believed I deserved a chance even if it meant that she was not part of it. So if someone asks me why I am Pro-Life, it’s not just because of my religion but because I am alive today.