What Popular Erotic "Romance" Is Teaching Our Children

      I was just browsing on Facebook today when I saw on the top right of my page what was "trending" today. Apparently they have picked the actors for the new 50 Shades of Grey movie. Now I am one of those people that will read books that are creating a buzz if I get a chance. Well one of my friends told me I needed to read the book 50 Shades of Grey. So I read it, and hated it. I had to push my way through the other 2 books because I like to review books on websites and wanted to make sure I finished it. Now yes there were very sexual scenes in the book , I skipped as much as I could and would try to find where they were "done". But I was also able to get an idea of what the main character wanted in a "physical" relationship. 

    I sometimes fell like I and the only woman that thinks 50 Shades of Grey books were poorly written and no where close to romantic in anyway. This was a prime example of an abusive and controlling relationship. Women want to know why men are more abusive and controlling in today's society because books like this make them think this is want you want. Law & Order: SVU actually created an episode off this idea from books like this. I have been in a physical and emotionally abusive relationship before and this is something I will never want to experience ever again and never want any type of actions to simulate this. 

     Just imagine all the pre-teen/teenagers that have read these books and are going to see this movie. Teach them that this is what they want. Just like the horribly obsessed, controlling, stalking vampire in the Twilight series, with a female character that thought she was nothing without him. This is not romance. Why as woman do we feel the need to step down and degrade ourselves for love, why do you want to be controlled. What happened to being equal and strong in a relationship. 

     Its hard to find strong female characters in books now a days. Please if you love this book then love it - but think if you have or would have a daughter, would want them to be in relationship, of control like this. Because I know for sure that I don't want my daughter to look up to any of these female characters or be in a relationship like this. Nor would I want my son to think this is the way he needs to treat woman to make them happy or fulfill their physical needs. When you think about it, it goes both ways for men and woman on this one. Maybe if woman stopped reading what you call "romance" novels and spent more time with your husband you might get the romance you need...and usually its not even physical that you need. I have read some amazing books that never needed sex or dominance to express a beautiful romance. 

     But sadly this is what society wants. This is what they want to teach our children, this is the new normal. I had a woman ask me "Well what am I supposed to do if my 13 year old daughter wants to read it?" The answer for me is easy, Be a parent, not their friend! Don't buy the book, don't let her read it. Yes she could hide it from you and read it at school or at a friends house. Well if you don't have open communication with your child's teacher or her friends parents then you might have another problem as well. Parents for some reason just don't want to get to involved in their teenager(even earlier) lives or walk on egg shells because their child needs to "express themselves" or say "at least they are reading". For me those all just sound like excuses. What happened to the society where we watched Little House On the Prairie, The Waltons, The Brady Bunch, Saved by the Bell, The Wonder Years and started watching reality TV,  Pretty Little Liars and Gossip Girls. Do I even need to watch the shows to even decided if they would teach my teenager strong morals and values based just on the titles of the shows themselves, and the little I have seen in previews. 

     For those of us who homeschool I feel like we are given a gift to be able to guide our children on a more moral and spiritual path then their peers that are in a school environment. There are also amazing parents who can do that as well in a school environment. People say I am too controlling and monitor my kids too much....Really, well thank you! I am their parent that's what my job is, what do you do??? This is not how it should be, but is sadly reality. We can change this though and one of the most important thing we can do is pray! We can pray in any sort of challenge we face. Praying for our children is the greatest form of love I believe we can show. Here are a few prayers in different situations to help us guide our children in this challenging world.
God Bless 


A Mother’s Prayer to the Guardian Angel of her child

Holy Guardian of my child,

from the first moment that I conceived

You were made by the all loving God,

Guardian and Protector of my child.

Guide this child in all his(her) ways.

Show him(her) the will of God,

Teach him(her) the commandments,

Obtain for him (her) the grace and strength

to do God’s will and obey His laws.

Help him (her) to overcome

the temptations of the world and of the flesh,

to walk the narrow part of virtue and after death

to live with You in the eternal bliss of Heaven and

Praise God for ever.

Amen.

 A Parents Prayer for the Grace to Correct a Child

Dear God, in giving me the great gift of being a parent,

You have also conferred on me the sacred and weighty responsibility

of patterning my charge on the model of your Divine Son.

May I not shirk my duty of correction,

and may I fulfill this duty according to Your holy will.

May I realize that in administering correction,

I am taking Your place, speaking for You.

May my corrections be such, as to be worthy of this trust.

May I never correct or punish my child while I am angry,

but learn to correct in a calm manner and

to administer punishment with a gentle firmness

born of tender love rather than with any excitement of passion.

May I learn to pray to You for light

before I give correction or punishment,

that such acts of mine may be according to Your holy will,

and in each case, bring my child closer to me

and both my child and myself closer to You.

Amen.

A Parents Prayer to Obtain Confidence of a Child

Mary, please pray that I may obtain the gift

of having the confidence of my child (children).

As you know, a parent needs this confidence

in order to guide their children properly.

When there are difficulties or troubles,

May they share their problems with me trustingly.

so that I may be able to more readily perform

a parent’s task of helping my child.

Mother most prudent,

when this confidence is shown,

teach me how to help and instruct my child.

Be to me a Mother of Good Counsel

and direct me at all times in the responsibilities

of my holy office of parenthood.

Amen.

For Father's In Heaven On Father's Day

     My father was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma when I was around 8. I don’t remember much of it. I do remember however that my mom and dad were both away a lot and my grandparents would come and stay with my brothers and I while they were gone. My dad had beat the cancer and we were able to go on with our lives as normal. As a 8 year old I guess I really never knew how serious it was but I remember how it changed my dad afterwards.

     He became a better father and a better husband to my mother. He started getting active in church once again and we started going on a regular basis. My father also became a extraordinary minister. He started getting active with my brother in I in school and sports. He was my soccer and basketball couch for many season,and he was a leader in my brother’s boy scout pack. We started taking more trips together as a family and just spending more quality time with each other. My favorite was the times driving with him in his Oldsmobile with the windows down listening to the oldies. We were happy.

     About 7 years later the cancer came back and it was worse. It had started to spread. Please forgive me I don’t know a lot of the terms for the procedures that he went through because I was only 15 at the time and I don’t remember much. He underwent a procedure that was supposed to be the answer to beating it again and according to my family it  was a success.

     After the success of the procedure I was scheduled to go on a trip with my high school to Europe. I was going to be gone about 12 days. I went to the hospital and said bye to my dad and he told me to have fun and stay out of trouble. My mother dropped me off at the bus stop with my school so we could head to the airport. She told me not to worry  and dad would be home by the time I came home in a few weeks. I left happily on my trip.

     Now this was 15 years ago before phone cards and cell phones that called long distance, so I had no communication from my family while I was over there. If there was an emergency they could have called one of our hotels just in case. I received no calls or news. I expected to see my dad either in the car to pick me up or at home when I got there.

     We got in late and I remember the sun was down when we got to the bus stop for our parents to pick us up. I remember seeing my mom and how tired she looked but with a smile on her face. She gave me a hug and I said by to all my fellow travelers. When I got into the car I noticed that there was a bunch of my dads stuff in the car and I asked excitedly if Dad was home. My mom looked at me with a single tear streaming down her face and she shook her head no. I asked what was wrong and she told me that my father was not doing well and that she needed to take me to the hospital right away.

     I rode quietly to the hospital listening to my mother explain that the procedure went well but one of the medicines that they gave my dad hurt him and started destroying his lungs and he was having a hard time breathing and his lungs would not recover. She explained that they were going to send for me while I was in Europe but my dad told them no and to let me enjoy myself. My dad went in and out of a coma after and they were keeping him on life support until the family was together and I could be there.

     I got to the hospital and I remember walking into the room, lights low and the rosary on CD being played in the background,  and I said “Hi Dad”.  He opened his eyes for the first time in the past few days and smiled. Everyone was surprised. I told him that I had a really good time on my trip and that I had got in trouble a few times joking with him. I don’t even remember if I told him I loved him during that brief moment,  it was all a blur. He closed his eyes again. I sat in chair on the left side of his bed and held his hand. I laid my head down and listening to the rosary as I silently cried myself to sleep.

     The next thing I remember was my mother waking me up with tears in her eyes telling me he was gone. My family and hospital staff told my mom that they were surprised that he was able to hang on that long and he should have passed days ago but he was waiting for me to get home and see him.
     My mother and I drove home. It was early in the morning and we were going to tell my younger brother that our father had just passed away. My mother thought he was too young to be at the hospital at that time. I remember sitting on his bed all huddled together crying. People called and came over all day bringing condolences and food. Too much for me, I didn't want to talk to anyone.

      I sat on our deck in shock still from what had happened when all of a sudden this blue butterfly flew in front of me and landed on my shoulder. It just sat there flapping it wings up and down slowly like it was in no hurry to leave. I have no idea how much time passed but I remember the sense of calm I experienced when it was resting on me. My mother saw it and came out and even got a few pictures. (which she has in a box somewhere!)  I told her I think this butterfly was sent from dad telling us he was with God and is okay. The butterfly stayed with us flying around and landing on me a few more times until after about 20 minutes it left.
   
     Every time that butterfly flapped its wings it was my dad telling me he loved me and he was in Heaven. He knew we needed it to help us get through those next couple days. I actually wrote a poem after it happened: 

The Butterfly

                                                               My dad died today

                                                                      and I cried

                                                                      And cried

                                                    But in flew a mysterious butterfly

                                            It landed on my foot, and flapped its wings

                                             It landed on my leg, and flapped its wings

                                           It landed on my hand, and flapped its wings

                                        It landed on my shoulder, and flapped its wings

                                                                    I felt my dad

                                                                As if he was there

                                                        Everywhere, all around me

                                                                He is the butterfly

                                                          That comes and visits me

                                                              He loved us so much

                                                                     And I knew

                                              Because every time he flapped his wings

                                                       He was saying, “I love you.”

By: Jenny DeLeo

       07/28/99

     Even though I only had my father for 16 years I am still blessed to have those years and I miss him everyday. It was hard when he was not there to walk me down the aisle at my wedding or to be there for the birth of my children, but who knows he just might have been and I know he watches over me and my children to this day. Whenever my  children and I  see a butterfly I tell them, “Look there’s grandpa telling us he loves us from Heaven” Happy Father’s Day Dad. I love you.

Prayer for Deceased Father

O God, Who commanded us to honor our father and our
mother, in Your mercy have pity on the soul of my father, and
and forgive him his sins.

May I see him again in the joy of everlasting brightness. Through Christ our Lord.
Amen.

How my life was saved before I was even born: A Pro-Life Story

     

     My mother was told that she could not conceive a child after she had my older brother. My parents had wanted more children and were devastated, but decided they would not give up and were going to pursue adoption. My parents let their families know that they were going to start looking into adoption and get the process started. My fathers family told the news to our extended family in Chicago. It was discovered that one of my fathers cousins was a lawyer who was just confronted by my biological mother and family. She was expressing a strong interest in starting the adoption process and thought a lawyer would help advise them on the next step to take. My biological mother was only 17 when she found out that she was pregnant with me. Her father had left and remarried and left her mother and 3 kids alone and my biological father turned his back on her when she told him she was pregnant. They were struggling and knew that they could not care for me and abortion was not something that my biological mother wanted.

      The cousin informed my family at once and stated it was meant to be. The same day he heard the news of my parents wanting to adopt was the day my biological family called for him to start the process to put me up for adoption. All the paperwork was done quick and quiet enough that I was able to go home with my parents after I was born.

This picture shows my family the day they brought me home from the hospital.

In this photo my mother is feeding me for the first time.

I was baptized a few days later. My godparents actually ended up being my fathers cousin, the lawyer who completed my adoption and his wife. Without them I would have never ended up with my family. Here is a picture of me being baptized.

I was blessed with very wonderful parents and also 2 brothers. Yes 2! My mother ended up becoming pregnant about 5 years after I was born. It was a miracle and she had no serious problems during the pregnancy.

     I did also find and meet my birth mother and her family in 2009 due to a website that helps you find children and birth parents from adoptions. I think it takes a lot of strength and love for my birth mother to make a decision like she did. I could never even imagine how it would have felt to have to give up my children after carrying them for 8 months.

     My life was saved because my biological mother believed my life was worth it. She believed I deserved a chance even if it meant that she was not part of it. So if someone asks me why I am Pro-Life, it’s not just because of my religion but because I am alive today.