I was just browsing on Facebook today when I saw on the top right of my page what was "trending" today. Apparently they have picked the actors for the new 50 Shades of Grey movie. Now I am one of those people that will read books that are creating a buzz if I get a chance. Well one of my friends told me I needed to read the book 50 Shades of Grey. So I read it, and hated it. I had to push my way through the other 2 books because I like to review books on websites and wanted to make sure I finished it. Now yes there were very sexual scenes in the book , I skipped as much as I could and would try to find where they were "done". But I was also able to get an idea of what the main character wanted in a "physical" relationship.
I sometimes fell like I and the only woman that thinks 50 Shades of Grey books were poorly written and no where close to romantic in anyway. This was a prime example of an abusive and controlling relationship. Women want to know why men are more abusive and controlling in today's society because books like this make them think this is want you want. Law & Order: SVU actually created an episode off this idea from books like this. I have been in a physical and emotionally abusive relationship before and this is something I will never want to experience ever again and never want any type of actions to simulate this.
Just imagine all the pre-teen/teenagers that have read these books and are going to see this movie. Teach them that this is what they want. Just like the horribly obsessed, controlling, stalking vampire in the Twilight series, with a female character that thought she was nothing without him. This is not romance. Why as woman do we feel the need to step down and degrade ourselves for love, why do you want to be controlled. What happened to being equal and strong in a relationship.
Its hard to find strong female characters in books now a days. Please if you love this book then love it - but think if you have or would have a daughter, would want them to be in relationship, of control like this. Because I know for sure that I don't want my daughter to look up to any of these female characters or be in a relationship like this. Nor would I want my son to think this is the way he needs to treat woman to make them happy or fulfill their physical needs. When you think about it, it goes both ways for men and woman on this one. Maybe if woman stopped reading what you call "romance" novels and spent more time with your husband you might get the romance you need...and usually its not even physical that you need. I have read some amazing books that never needed sex or dominance to express a beautiful romance.
But sadly this is what society wants. This is what they want to teach our children, this is the new normal. I had a woman ask me "Well what am I supposed to do if my 13 year old daughter wants to read it?" The answer for me is easy, Be a parent, not their friend! Don't buy the book, don't let her read it. Yes she could hide it from you and read it at school or at a friends house. Well if you don't have open communication with your child's teacher or her friends parents then you might have another problem as well. Parents for some reason just don't want to get to involved in their teenager(even earlier) lives or walk on egg shells because their child needs to "express themselves" or say "at least they are reading". For me those all just sound like excuses. What happened to the society where we watched Little House On the Prairie, The Waltons, The Brady Bunch, Saved by the Bell, The Wonder Years and started watching reality TV, Pretty Little Liars and Gossip Girls. Do I even need to watch the shows to even decided if they would teach my teenager strong morals and values based just on the titles of the shows themselves, and the little I have seen in previews.
For those of us who homeschool I feel like we are given a gift to be able to guide our children on a more moral and spiritual path then their peers that are in a school environment. There are also amazing parents who can do that as well in a school environment. People say I am too controlling and monitor my kids too much....Really, well thank you! I am their parent that's what my job is, what do you do??? This is not how it should be, but is sadly reality. We can change this though and one of the most important thing we can do is pray! We can pray in any sort of challenge we face. Praying for our children is the greatest form of love I believe we can show. Here are a few prayers in different situations to help us guide our children in this challenging world.
God Bless
A Mother’s Prayer to the Guardian Angel of her child
Holy Guardian of my child,
from the first moment that I conceived
You were made by the all loving God,
Guardian and Protector of my child.
Guide this child in all his(her) ways.
Show him(her) the will of God,
Teach him(her) the commandments,
Obtain for him (her) the grace and strength
to do God’s will and obey His laws.
Help him (her) to overcome
the temptations of the world and of the flesh,
to walk the narrow part of virtue and after death
to live with You in the eternal bliss of Heaven and
Praise God for ever.
Amen.
A Parents Prayer for the Grace to Correct a Child
Dear God, in giving me the great gift of being a parent,
You have also conferred on me the sacred and weighty responsibility
of patterning my charge on the model of your Divine Son.
May I not shirk my duty of correction,
and may I fulfill this duty according to Your holy will.
May I realize that in administering correction,
I am taking Your place, speaking for You.
May my corrections be such, as to be worthy of this trust.
May I never correct or punish my child while I am angry,
but learn to correct in a calm manner and
to administer punishment with a gentle firmness
born of tender love rather than with any excitement of passion.
May I learn to pray to You for light
before I give correction or punishment,
that such acts of mine may be according to Your holy will,
and in each case, bring my child closer to me
and both my child and myself closer to You.
Amen.
A Parents Prayer to Obtain Confidence of a Child
Mary, please pray that I may obtain the gift
of having the confidence of my child (children).
As you know, a parent needs this confidence
in order to guide their children properly.
When there are difficulties or troubles,
May they share their problems with me trustingly.
so that I may be able to more readily perform
a parent’s task of helping my child.
Mother most prudent,
when this confidence is shown,
teach me how to help and instruct my child.
Be to me a Mother of Good Counsel
and direct me at all times in the responsibilities
of my holy office of parenthood.
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